When our oldest son, now 14, was a preschooler, my friend Brigid told me about an experience she had with her own preschooler after Mass one Sunday. It was shortly before Christmas and gifts for needy children were arranged under a tree near the front of church. While Brigid and her husband were chatting with some friends and the priest, her son grabbed a present, brought it back to the group, and asked if he could open it.

“I let the priest handle that one,” I remember Brigid telling me. “I wanted to see how he would explain to a 4-year-old that the presents were for other children.”

At the time, I remember being amazed that Brigid decided to give the situation to the priest. I knew that if Jacob had done something similar, I would have been mortified and would have quickly taken matters into my own hands. But a decade more into parenting, Brigid’s decision to let someone else lead the lesson sticks with me.

It’s a beautiful approach to parenting, “Give your child roots to feel secure and wings to allow them to fly.” Yet, the wings part can be tough on a parent.

As proud as we may be of our children, it’s tough to watch them leave our protective care and venture on their own. In incremental steps, children are learning daily to leave the nest and set off on their own life journey.

Those many steps, as they gradually pull away from us and slowly strap on the wings, can tug at our hearts. In our family, some of the recent steps have included a week away from home for our oldest daughter, Marisa, during a summer service program, a horse camp for Chiana and Alicia, and sometime in the very near future, a big one, a driver’s license for now 16-year-old Marisa.