All dogs go to heaven … but few become columnists. Until now. In the Diocese of Superior Bishop Peter Christensen’s goldendoodle, Gus, has his own column titled “GPS” (“Gus’ Persepctive from Superior”), which debuted in the Sept. 17 issue of the Superior Catholic Herald.

Upon hearing the news about this addition to the Catholic literary press, my brother, Daryl, the pastoral associate at St. James Parish, Menomonee Falls, replied, “I assume Gus is a “dog-matic” columnist.” Definitely. And if Gus ever publishes a book of his columns, do you think it would be dog-eared?

Season’s beatings: It is evident that retailers don’t want us to celebrate Christmas as much as they want us to spend Christmas. The clobbering is already underway. Last week Christmas cards were on display at Half-Price Books. Sears/Kmart is running a TV ad for its Christmas Club.

Speaking of Christmas, I hope the butt kicking radio stations that started playing “holiday music” in early November took in the ratings last year will prompt them to exercise restraint this year. Wouldn’t it be great if they actually waited until the First Sunday of Advent?

Oh, I wrote that as “holiday music” because that’s what they call it. In a way that’s a good thing because some of the garbage they play, e.g., Cyndi Lauper’s “Santa Baby,” Barbara Streisand’s “Jingle Bells,” does not qualify as Christmas music.

Extreme home makeover: One of my favorite Catholic stories has to do with the saint whose feast we celebrate today, St. Robert Bellarmine. A favorite of Pope Clement VIII because the pontiff admired the Jesuit’s brilliance, Bellarmine was brought to Rome, made a cardinal and housed in a luxurious Vatican apartment. He removed the tapestries that covered the walls and gave them to the poor. His reasoning? “The walls won’t catch cold.”