AJ and Janet Garcia make their relationship, including prayer for and with one another, a priority amid the busyness of family life. (Submitted photo)
BETH ULASZEK
SPECIAL TO THE CATHOLIC HERALD
Whatever extracurriculars you taxi kids to, this chaos always amps up as a new school year approaches. A certain amount of flexibility will always be required in family life, but there are some foundations that need to hold strong. Marriage is one of these. Prioritizing marriage in the midst of an overwhelming schedule will look different in each family.
AJ and Janet Garcia, parishioners at St. Charles, Hartland, give us a beautiful example. With five children, two different schools, football, piano and Girls Clubs, they have a lot to manage! AJ works full time and Janet part time, both from home. Nonetheless, through consistent bedtime, prayer, shared meals and community, they are able to hold true to the value they place on being each other’s best friend.
By sticking to a consistent bedtime for their kids, they regularly free up time to reconnect as a couple. “Some nights the time is spent doing something practical like budgeting or scheduling, other nights we watch our favorite TV shows together. But we make sure that time is set aside for us to connect.”
Prayer can be easily forgotten as life gets busy, but it is a vital way to stay connected and vulnerable with one another. AJ and Janet have found a creative way to prioritize prayer in their marriage. “We both pray the Rosary daily — sometimes together during the evening, sometimes on our own, or sometimes four decades on our own and one together before bed! We almost always check in on each other that we’ve prayed it that day. We both have weekly holy hours at our parish’s adoration chapel that we help each other to make a priority.”
Shared meals are a time-honored way to stay connected as a couple and as a family. Carving out time for it takes intentionality. The Garcias prioritize not having activities every night of the week so they can have breakfast and dinner together nearly every day. “Our culture can wear busyness as a badge of honor, and we try to ensure that the peace of our family and being together is a top priority.”
Finally, they recognize the importance of their village. They encourage couples not to be afraid to ask for help from other families who are in similar seasons of life. Consider car-pools or babysitting swaps for date nights.
What might it look like to prioritize your own marriage in the midst of fall craziness? Take a few minutes to reflect on the following questions and decide as a couple what your own fall will look like!
- Is there a simple routine you can build into your day to reconnect? Shared morning coffee? A hug and cheery “hello” as you reunite after work?
- How can you pray together or for one another?
- Can you put a date night (morning or afternoon) on the calendar? How can you creatively address any obstacles?
- Is there a meal that you can consistently share together?
Pro-tip: Sunday is already a day of rest. How about making it a day to reconnect as well? Share a slow cup of coffee together in the morning, pray together as a couple after Mass, then go out to brunch as a family or bring back Sunday supper!
Begin the week by investing in your marriage and you’ll be able to tackle all the craziness fall can throw your way.
Beth Ulaszek is the Marriage Preparation Coordinator in the Office of Evangelization & Catechesis for the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. She is the mother of six children ages 4 to 12.
