Terry Horst confers with Linda Boettcher of Archie Monuments & Stone in Watertown over the design of the Memorial for the Unborn at St. Clare Cemetery in North Lake. (Submitted photo) 

“Your eyes saw my unformed body,” says the Psalm. “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16)

Before a child is known or loved by anyone, he is known and loved by his Creator. Before the vague outline of her face can be seen in the grainiest ultrasound. Before he is cradled in the arms of his mother. Before she makes her first cry.

And if a child never does any of these things — if his face is never seen, or her cry never heard — that child is still infinitely precious to the One who called that soul into being.

That’s what the Respect Life Committee of St. Teresa of Calcutta wants people to know, to think about, when they visit the new Memorial for the Unborn at St. Clare Cemetery in North Lake to be dedicated June 28. These children matter, even if the days ordained for them were precious few in number.

“We know that often, families do not know what to do with all the feelings and unfamiliar emotions that emerge after the loss of a child, especially ones who have not had the chance to be born,” said Rita Lund, a member of the Respect Life Committee of St. Teresa, which was formed in 2006 when St. Clare merged with St. John in Monches.

“In the past, this type of loss was not spoken of, or was expected to be forgotten and (for parents to) ‘just move on,’” agreed her fellow committee member Carol Merkel. “We feel the memorial will be a form of validation for these feelings and emotions; a way to acknowledge that every life matters and their grief is real.”

A stamped concrete sidewalk leading to the core of the memorial features three black granite monuments and a sitting bench for reflection. The monuments are adorned with etchings of the Blessed Mother, symbols and words that reflect the concept of “the unborn being held in his hands,” explained Terry Horst, a retired civil engineer who designed the cemetery expansion and who has served on the Building and Grounds Committee and the Cemetery Board.

The memorial also includes over 800 small plots available to any families in need of a final resting place, free of charge.

“By offering a burial site, we are hoping that this might be the beginning of the healing process,” said Horst’s wife, Marilyn Horst, a Respect Life committee member.

The memorial was a collaborative labor of love which manifested the vision of the Respect Life Committee, the Building and Grounds Committee, the Cemetery Board and many dedicated and generous parishioners.

This effort has been ongoing since 2018, when the Respect Life Committee first proposed the memorial as plans coalesced for the 100-year-old cemetery’s expansion into a 3.8 parcel of land — located directly north of the historic cemetery on County Road VV in Hartland — bought by the parish in 1971.

Lund has suffered several miscarriages, and even though the losses happened long ago, she continues to grieve for the children she never got to meet. Merkel, likewise, said she wanted to create a space for parents to lay their unborn children to rest, and felt a close connection with the Blessed Mother throughout the entire process.

“I just knew Mother Mary was longing for this memorial as much as we were, so that even the tiniest children could be brought to her and be remembered,” she said. “And you don’t say no to our Mother Mary.”

Even though all the participating committees and parish director Deacon Allen Olson were all in favor of the project, the seven-year process wasn’t without barriers. The cemetery land had to be rezoned due to jurisdictional issues. Funds had to be raised. Permits had to be approved. The Respect Life Committee made several trips to Archie Monument & Stone in Watertown, where a layout, design and etching artist, Linda Boettcher, helped bring the group’s vision to life.

“The Respect Life team feels that God has honored their vision to respectfully remember his little ones,” Lund said.

IF YOU GO

What: Dedication of the Memorial for the Unborn, presided over by Auxiliary Bishop Jeffrey Haines
Where: St. Clare Cemetery, N76W30896 County Road VV, Hartland
When: 3:30 p.m. Saturday, June 28, followed by Mass