All right … let’s see here … is this what I’m looking for? No, I don’t think this is it. Oh wait, yes it is.


The words seem to jump out at me from the computer screen, where I’m doing some research on the subject for my upcoming nuptials. Although Matt and I did get a sense of this from Fr. Jim when we met with him for the first time, I discovered afterward that I was so nervous that I didn’t hear a word he said.

Being the journalist that I am, I decided to do it on my own and get some much-needed answers for a life that I will soon be entering.

Oh heaven help me.

I got this answer from the John Paul II Center’s Web site (, which was a great resource if I do say so myself.

FOCCUS — Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study.

FOCCUS is an internationally used inventory for couples preparing for marriage. It is not a test, but is rather a tool to help couples learn more about themselves and the manner in which they relate to their partner. FOCCUS and other similar inventories can be very useful for diagnosing areas of both strength and weakness in couple communication.

While we have yet to take this, I can already see why the Catholic Church requires engaged couples t participate. Matt and I can often go for long periods of time not discussing important topics, such as finances, children, jobs, family, etc. Sometimes it’s easy to just come home after a day of working 11 hours, make some ramen noodles, crack open a cheap Dundee beer, turn on “Everest: Beyond the Limit” Season 2, and just veg (oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just gave you a glimpse of my Monday night).

However, let’s all be honest here: it’s better to find this stuff out now, rather than later.

Even if discussing it can take a lot out of you.

I will let you all know how it goes for Matt and I when we take it. Is there anything we should know about before going in? Leave me a comment!


Music playing while writing this: “Where the Wild Things Are” soundtrack