Since Matt and I have become engaged, I have increasingly been faced with a particular question by both my Catholic/non-Catholic/male/female friends and family: “So when are you moving in together?”

Let me start right off the bat, and explain that I don’t have an opinion about living together before marriage. I know many couples who have done so, and I support them in their quest to learn more about one another. However, it just isn’t for me. Not only because of what my religion says about it, but also because of what I feel in my heart.

While I do know that living with someone is a big way to get to know them intimately, I am also not convinced that it is THE ONLY WAY to do so. I believe that open and honest communication, respect for one another, and most especially, getting a sense of when that person needs to be alone/with you, is also a way to learn to live with them after marriage.

While this is how we feel about the situation, I do understand that there will be problems in the future that none of us can expect until they happen. Matt is going to forget to wipe off the bathroom sink after he shaves, and I will forget to add a new roll of toilet paper to the dispenser (yeah, I know. Who gets upset about that?), but when it comes down to it, our love is bigger than that.

We are still going to love each other, even when we want to kill each other.

I understand that Matt and I are a minority in this choice, these days. I would love to hear from you about what your decision was. Are you happy you made the choice to live with one another/apart before marriage? What were some of the difficulties you experienced after marriage?

What should I expect?


Music playing while writing this: “Smile Like You Mean It” Vitamin String Quartet (A string quartet that plays as a cover band…totally cool).