- “You’ll never get over it, but you will get through it,” advice to the Schums from a parent who also lost a child.
- Learn to lean on the grace of God – this was apparent during the visitation and funeral Mass. Tim supported David’s Pius XI High School classmates who were suffering the loss of their friend.
- Seek out support, either in groups or with a therapist. Seek information on grief through books or videos to learn that you are not unusual and that it is possible to survive the pain.
- Find creative outlets to find relief, such as journaling, writing letters to your deceased child, writing memories, prayers and thoughts.
- Talk to family or friends.
- Take it slow, one step at a time.
- Treasure each day; be thankful for all God has given you.
- Try to find God’s beauty in nature and be thankful for the time you had with your child.
- For outsiders, don’t be afraid to mention the name of the child as it won’t cause the parent to suffer, it will be a comfort and they will know you care.
- Never tell the grieving parent that you know how they feel, because you don’t unless you are also grieving the loss of a child.
- Phrases like, “He’s with God now,” are true, but aren’t helpful for the parent dealing with grief. The grieving parent might be in shock or angry with God and the phrase is not helpful or timely.
- Sympathy cards are welcome and treasured by the family who often don’t realize how much their child touched the lives of others – so please do send them.