Archdiocese of Chicago Auxiliary Bishop Jeffrey S. Grob and Diocese of Peoria Bishop Lou Tylka are longtime friends. Pope Francis named each a bishop in 2020. (Submitted photo)
When Bishop Lou Tylka of Peoria entered the seminary in Mundelein, Bishop Jeffrey S. Grob was a new priest. The two met when they joined a dinner party to say farewell to another priest who was leaving for Louvain, France, to continue his studies.
“We became fast friends,” said Bishop Tylka. “I have immense respect for Bishop Grob. He is a well-crafted individual, intelligent and has a great sense of humor. We frequently gather in our friend circle, and I have always been able to rely on his help and guidance. As an aside, he is a canon lawyer, and one of my former professors said the best thing to do is to know a good canon lawyer. He has always been someone I could call.”
Bishop Tylka credited Bishop Grob’s amicable personality and said the two could easily discuss anything, whether family or church related.
“We spoke of our families and our hopes and dreams for the priesthood,” Bishop Tylka said. “He was one of the first people I talked to about me becoming a bishop. I was named before him, and when he was named a bishop, I was among the first people he told. One reality is that when you become a bishop, you always carry around that identity and the Office of the Church that was entrusted to you. Just as a doctor needs to talk to another doctor and a teacher to another teacher, one of the great blessings over the last few years is the ability to share experiences and seek each other’s wisdom. It is also very nice to go to each other for Confession and experience God’s mercy.”
As an only child, Bishop Grob has enjoyed having his mother, Bonnie, living with him over the years. Their close relationship has been a source of strength and support for Bishop Grob, shaping his character and values. At one point, they were preparing to move from where they were living when Bishop Tylka offered his large rectory for them to live with him.
“We had a conversation about it, and I was happy to have them move in. It was the best rectory I lived in, and we nicknamed it the zoo,” he said. “We had one mother, two priests, two dogs and six birds, one of them an African Grey parrot. We had so much fun, and I teased him about his German orderliness. For example, I would set my coffee down and still have half a cup left. It would disappear because it sat too long on the counter. Bishop Grob would have washed it and put it away before I knew the coffee was gone. We laughed about that and so many things during that time.”
Bishop Tylka explained that Chicago’s loss is Milwaukee’s gain, adding that Bishop Grob is a tremendous priest and bishop. Archbishop-Designate Grob will be installed as the 12th Archbishop of Milwaukee on Jan. 14.
“He loves the Lord, loves the Church and will do all he can to serve both because he is a wise man and knowledgeable,” he said. “Milwaukee is getting an archbishop filled with compassion, wisdom and a great sense of humor.”
Daniel Payne, who has been friends with Bishop Grob, whom he affectionately calls Scotty, for 34 years, met him through a mutual friend. While he is of the Baptist faith, the two became long-term friends.
“There was a group of us who got together often, about 30 years ago, and so many of them had the first name Jeffrey,” he said. “It was like a Three Stooges skit with us saying Jeffrey this, no not you Jeffrey, this Jeffrey. I thought this was too much, so from that point on, I called everyone by their middle names. I started calling him Scotty 30 years ago, and I still do. He laughs and thinks it is funny.”
Payne appreciates the many times he attended various events where Bishop Grob officiated. Their faith differences make no difference, and in their friend group, there are Catholics, Methodists, Baptists, Muslims and an atheist; none of those differences mattered to Bishop Grob. His ability to bridge these faith gaps makes everyone feel included and valued.
“Sometimes I felt as if I were Catholic because I attended so many of his services,” Payne said. “In fact, before my mother died, she asked me if I converted to Catholicism. I was curious why she asked me that, and she said, ‘You seem to do a lot of Catholic things, and it seems like you are becoming Catholic.’ I laughed and assured her that I was not converting.”
When Payne’s parents passed away, Bishop Grob’s presence at the service in his church was deeply comforting. Impressed by the bishop’s support, his pastor invited him to the pulpit with the other ministers, a gesture that spoke volumes about Bishop Grob’s influence and respect within the community.
“My pastor was touched that Scotty came to support me and told me he was a wonderful man,” Payne said. “He is not just a friend but a great spiritual leader. I admire him and his sensibility and unwavering commitment to the Church. He has the remarkable ability to unite others. He is why this group of us has been friends for 25 or more years.”
A Muslim from Islamabad, Pakistan, Mustafa Siddiqui is another close friend who knows more than many about the Catholic faith. He has also attended many Masses and other events officiated by Bishop Grob.
“He has never tried to convert me; he knows a lot about the Muslim faith and respects who I am and my beliefs. I have learned a lot about Catholicism from being his friend. He listens well and is a kind, thoughtful and caring person who will do his best to help anyone,” he said. “If I see something I might disagree with, I am honest with him, and he is open to listening to me talk about it. He will often take it back home and think more about it.”
Siddiqui said he has watched Bishop Grob’s career and how well he cared for his parishes and continues to shepherd the parishes in his vicariate.
“He has done fantastic work in the Chicago communities, and I know he will do well in Milwaukee as the new archbishop,” he said. “He is a great asset and a good servant to the people.”
Siddiqui and Bishop Grob met at a dinner party in 1995, and their friendship grew organically along with the same group of friends that still gather today.
“Bishop Grob will make a great leader for Milwaukee because he is always available and will serve the community because he is charming and a great listener,” Siddiqui said. “He never imposes his view on you; he listens, absorbs it and doesn’t push anyone. He gives peace to people from all walks of life and tries accommodating them. Those from our friend group are looking forward to taking a road trip to get together occasionally.”
Peter and Jacqueline Beal-DelVecchio first met Bishop Grob in 1994, when he hired Peter to serve as the youth minister at Ss. Faith, Hope and Charity Parish.
“Jackie and I became friends with him not long after I started working at SsFHC,” Peter said. “Jackie volunteered with the KAIROS retreat that Bishop Grob and I ran at the parish where he was associate pastor at the time.”
When Bishop Grob’s life reached vocational milestones, Jackie and Peter were there to celebrate his becoming a pastor and his becoming an auxiliary bishop.
“We’ve been there for personal moments, such as his dad’s funeral, cleaning out his family’s farmhouse and his mom’s health trials,” said Jackie. “He has also been there for us, as well, such as for our marriage; Baptism of our three children; through Pete’s cancer diagnosis; and now as our children graduate from high school and college. We enjoy honest conversations about faith and the Church. We have grown with each other over 30 years in faith and as people endeavoring to live the gospel in our daily lives. We can be open and down to earth with each other, grounded and calling each other to be our best selves.”
According to Peter, Bishop Grob is a man of deep faith. He understands that God loves him and understands that all are his children. He is empathetic, which adds to his overall pastoral nature.
“As a priest, you journey with people on their best days and often their worst days. Bishop Grob always seeks to find joy in life and balance some of the harsh realities he witnesses. In addition, he is highly organized, has an incredible work ethic (perhaps a product of growing up on a farm in Wisconsin) and is highly intelligent,” said Peter. “As a bishop, you are an administrator as well as a priest. His ability to manage many projects simultaneously will serve the people of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee well. We believe he will be a pastoral shepherd with a keen ability to manage the practical side of running the archdiocese.”
A strong, kind leader, Bishop Grob was compassionate and approachable when Peter served as youth minister.
“I could bring any question to him, and he would make time to answer and help me understand; you always feel heard when talking with him. Even if your views do not align or he makes a different decision, you know he heard you and why Bishop Grob made that decision,” he explained. “He leads in different ways depending on the situation: He leads from behind, allowing others to show the way; he leads from the side as a companion on the journey; he leads from the front, calling people to follow.”
In addition to hosting dinner gatherings for his friends, Bishop Grob has friends around the world whom he met during his studies abroad or friends living in the English countryside.
“He has developed strong friendships that stand the test of time and distance. While we spend less time together these days because of our busy schedules, when we are together, it is as if no time has passed. We know each other and our families so well that we know who to ask about and get updates,” said Peter. “The Holy Father could not have made a better choice for the faithful of the Archdiocese of Milwaukee.”
Peter and Jacqueline Beal-DelVecchio became friends with Bishop Grob when he was an associate pastor at a suburban Chicago parish and Peter was hired as youth minister. (Submitted photo)
