My Queen, My Mother — that is how I begin my day. It is a short consecration prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary that I learned as part of the Schoenstatt Movement. In this approaching month of Mary, the month of May, I would like to reflect on how Mary has been instrumental in my own growth as a husband and father, and in my family’s spiritual growth.

Where do I hitch my wagon?

When I had three small children, ages 4, 2 and newborn, I had a decision to make. In my heart I knew I wanted my family to be part of some sort of religious group besides attending Mass on Sundays. In my hometown, we had a Franciscan parish, and my parents had joined the Secular Franciscan Order. Now, I had to decide for myself— do I join the Third Order of St. Francis, the Lay Carmelites, Opus Dei, the Ignatian Associates, the Benedictine Oblates, the Lay Dominicans or the Apostolate for Family Consecration? Which would best fit our family? There were so many, each one a commitment that would essentially exclude the others.

I prayed about it and I looked around. Which families had the most joyful, devout and mature kids? Which ones had the kind of kids I wish my kids would one day be like? As I talked with other families, I came to find two things that they had in common: either they were homeschooled or they were part of the Schoenstatt Movement. Schoenstatt was not even on my list of groups to consider. What was this group about, and why was it good for families? I came to find out that the Schoenstatt Movement is deeply Marian and totally centered on families. While they have institutes and communities for priests and for sisters, they also have leagues and apostolic groups for families and youth. My wife and I had made our consecration to the Blessed Virgin Mary in 2006 using the preparation found in the book “True Devotion to Mary,” but it was not something our little children could really grasp yet. So here was a movement totally dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary but with support for families and youth. I decided to take a leap and hitched my wagon to the Blessed Virgin Mary and to her son, Jesus, through the Schoenstatt Movement. I figured that if it was not for us, we could always explore one of the other groups later.

A tree is known by its fruit

In continuing to discern, we involved first my daughter and then my two oldest sons in Schoenstatt youth activities. Along the way, my wife and I joined a group that was preparing to make the Covenant of Love with the Blessed Virgin Mary. We grew closer to the Blessed Mother and so did our children. I recently asked them what they felt has been the fruit of their participation in Schoenstatt youth and other activities. They all appreciated discovering a community in Schoenstatt with shared values. They love the friends they have made. They each report feeling at peace and at home when they go to the Schoenstatt Retreat Center or other places with Schoenstatt shrines. The older kids report developing a relationship with Mary and Jesus and feeling that she is close to us. They also appreciate learning to be a leader and to be more confident in themselves through their service. There has been wonderful fruit. My boys are learning to be good Catholic men, and my daughter is learning to walk with Mary as a young woman.

Parenting under her mantle

I also asked my wife what she thought was the fruit of our participation in Schoenstatt. After making our Covenant of Love together in 2018, we prepared to establish a home shrine. In 2021, we had our picture of the MTA, Our Lady holding the child Jesus, blessed and our home shrine dedicated. We called it “Stellar Nursery in the Immaculate Heart of Mary.” My wife feels that we are parenting under her mantle. “She is so close to us in our home shrine, and we have a central place in our home to bring our petitions to her and to offer up our sacrifices of daily living”, she said. The kids offer their chores or their schoolwork for a friend who is sick. We offer our prayers and acts of service for another family who is struggling to find work or who is in a period of transition. Our home has become more prayerful. My wife feels a sense of peace in knowing that our Heavenly Mother is helping to raise our kids.

I will leave you with the words that I say every day. Perhaps they are already your words also; perhaps one day they will become so:

My Queen, my Mother,

I give myself entirely to you,

and to show my devotion to you,

I consecrate to you this day

my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart,

my entire self without reserve.

As I am your own, my good Mother,

guard me and defend me

as your property and possession. Amen.