Faith and Family
As I write this, I am celebrating my birthday. My wife got the cake and the family sang “Happy Birthday.” It is one of our traditions to pull out the list of “discussion questions” and take turns answering some thought-provoking or get-to know-you questions. Talking around the table about these types of questions builds trust and a shared memory of our family, and it leads to greater knowledge of each other’s interior lives. All of these are important parts of being a family. Some questions will inevitably ask about our experience of childhood. It is very interesting to get each child’s perception of their own experience. Being the oldest, being the middle or being the youngest really makes a difference. Being in this family community really makes a difference.
Just Like You Remember It
In our own minds, things are just as we remember them. The oldest feels the parents were more strict with them, the youngest enjoyed more freedom. Both are true. One enjoyed when we opened gifts on Christmas night and the other appreciates that we moved it to Christmas morning — both are valid. In our family life, we experience things differently, no two people, even our identical twins, will have the exact same experience or perception of the experience. But the more critical part is not that we have the same perceptions but that we have a family to share it with. We have a family that can answer our questions and support us in our trials. We have a family that will plug away at a project until it is completed. We have a family that is willing to listen to our frustrations and console us in our sorrows.
Gospel Life
In the Gospel, we hear very little about the Holy Family. We do hear that they traveled to Bethlehem, later to Egypt and then back to Nazareth. We hear about the trip to the Temple when Jesus stayed behind. We hear about how “Jesus went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them and … he grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” (Lk 2:51-52) We don’t really hear anything else about Jesus and the Holy Family until Jesus was 30 years old. He showed us with his actions how important family life was. So important that he spent 30 of his 33 years of life with his family. He learned from Joseph and Mary, he lived with them, he conversed with them, he blessed them and was blessed by them. He formed memories with them; he spent lots of time with them. They were a real family, supporting each other, sharing the work, the joys and the sorrows. They cared deeply for one another, and they showed it by spending time together.
Eternal Life
Why so much focus on spending time together? Isn’t our final judgment going to come down to a trial between us and God, our just judge? Well yes, we will be judged individually, but the result of that final judgment will be entry into an eternal communal life, hopefully to the place of refreshment and peace and not the other place. And what is our reward? A place at the wedding feast of the Lamb and a living and active part in the Communion of Saints. If this holy communion and community is our eternal goal, why not begin now to build that community in our own families? We must do as St. Paul urges us: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And may the peace of Christ reign your hearts.” (Colossians 3:12-15)
Dcn. Henry Reyes, who serves St. Anthony and St. Hyacinth in Milwaukee, looks forward to sharing many more birthdays with his wife and five children.
