Finding your mustness is no fairy tale; Wonderland is no joke. I find it amusing and slightly ironic that the spell-check wants to change mustness to “mustiness” … how fitting to someone who has lost her must factor. My freak-out level rose significantly as I entered the week before my high holy feast day. Finally, and just in the nick of time, it clicked on the eve of the big day.

I realize that my inner Alice questions of who’s and where’s are the same questions; however, the shift for me was where I needed to look and find my answers. Me, the 10-years-older Alice, realized that the answers are not as much coming from those around me, but rather found and discovered within myself – the inner voice of one’s “mustness.”

My mustness has strength; a rootedness that is felt deep within. I am looking forward, arms open and walking with joy. I am robed in integrity and passion. My mustness contains my learning, my yes’s, my becoming, my love; all of it is woven together by my God. If you ask me, that’s some awesome mustness. Maybe this 30 thing isn’t so bad after all.

My Wonderland still has scary forests, Mad Tea Parties, disappearing acts, times of unexpected growth and shrinking, white rabbits and Red Queens. However, this time through Wonderland, I walk alongside of my companions. We venture through  Wonderland together supporting one another; propelled with the love of our God. This quest asks the same questions, but Wonderland provides answers differently this time – a bit scary, but mostly exhilarating. Thank God I am not late for my very important date; welcome to 30, Sr. Katy! Woo hoo! The time has come, my little friend; it’s time to trust the must!

(Sr. Katy LaFond is the youngest member of the School Sisters of St. Francis. She professed her vows Aug. 11, 2007. Learn more about her order at and read her blog at