I don’t know about you, but I have the tendency to feel like a complete failure by the time Lent ends. It’s not that I don’t have good intentions, because I do. In addition fasting and abstaining from meat on Fridays, I also begin the season with a resolve to attend daily Mass, pray more so than usual, as well as sacrifice for the souls of others. However, as most of my resolutions end up going, I hardly have the chance to start before my inner voice begins to sound.
“Hey Amy, I know you want to sacrifice for Lent. Heck, we all do! But come on, you’ve just worked a 12 hour work day, and now you think you should head over for eucharistic adoration? I seriously doubt that God is going to be watching you like a hawk, making sure you actually do what you said you would do. How about getting up early tomorrow morning and going to Mass instead? You’ll be tired, but you can do it.”
And of course, as most of my mornings usually start off, I end up hitting the snooze button until I wake up with a start and realize I have 20 minutes to shower and dress before I have to be out the door for work. Sigh. Why must Lent be so hard sometimes?
I read something recently that compared Lent to that of a journey, in which we are in a different place in our lives at the end of those 40 (incredibly tough) days. Truly, I wish to be in a closer, more open relationship with God by the time Lent ends this year. I want to increase my faith in him and in his plans for my future. I want to come to the conclusion that yes, things in my life will sometimes not work out, or will go horribly wrong, but no matter what happens, God will always be by my side to help me.
Well, even though I do tend to spend Lent the same every year, I do have faith that I might be a bit more proactive in my approach this year. I have my “Lenten Companion” book, rosary, Mass schedule, and Matt has been informed when I can and cannot eat meat. Other than that, all I can really do is hope and pray that I stay on the right path this year. Pray for me!
Loving Father, this Lent help me to repent and to have confidence in your son’s promise to show me your face.
Music playing while writing this: “Come to Me” by Koop