Karlee and Cody Horlacher have five children, ages 3 weeks to 7 years, and are active at St. Paul Parish in Genesee Depot and St. James Parish in Mukwonago. But
their family’s story also includes the grief of losing three children to miscarriage.
“We had very early back-to-back miscarriages between our second and third kids,” Karlee Horlacher said. “We were devastated. Those losses were really tough. We didn’t know what resources were available.”
The Horlachers experienced another miscarriage between the births of their fourth and fifth children. This time, they found support through the Hearts of Hope Program at Life’s Connection, a pro-life health and education nonprofit with three centers in Waukesha County.
“At Life’s Connection, we cannot take away the pain of losing a child,” said Krys Crawley, the nonprofit’s founder and executive director, “but we can make sure no mother or father has to carry that pain alone. We can acknowledge their baby, honor that baby’s life, help them reverently care for and bury their child and walk beside the family as they begin to heal. Because, whether a baby lived for 12 weeks in the womb, was stillborn or lived only briefly after birth, that child existed, that child was loved, that child’s life mattered.”
An ultrasound technician by training, Crawley founded Life’s Connection nearly 16 years ago. The organization offers ultrasounds, pregnancy tests, a baby boutique and prenatal classes, in addition to Hearts of Hope, which began about 10 years ago to support families experiencing miscarriage or stillbirth.
Horlacher first connected with the nonprofit when she visited one of its centers while pregnant with her son Henry.
“They were so wonderful,” she said.
Along with a free ultrasound, the center provided diapers, baby items and personal comfort gifts, including lotions and tea. 
Families experiencing pregnancy loss receive a Hearts of Hope box containing a journal, a ceramic “Baby in Angel Wings” figure, a candle and books and booklets. Some of the materials are specifically intended for fathers and siblings.
Life’s Connection “gives every (Hearts of Hope) family a hope box to help them through the grief,” Crawley said.
Crawley emphasized that fathers also need support following the loss of a child.
“Fathers are overlooked. (Their) grief gets pushed aside. But they’ve lost a child, too.”
Horlacher recognized that difference in how parents sometimes experience grief.
“I did my grieving up front,” she said, while a father’s grief may be less visible. “Somebody’s got to keep the train on the tracks.”
Faith has played an important role in Horlacher’s grieving process. Although the pain of losing a child may never disappear, she said her outlook has become more positive over time.
“I think it’s only gotten more positive,” she said.
Horlacher also understands that people sometimes struggle to find the right words when someone experiences a miscarriage. Even comments such as “Well, you can always try again” can come from a place of genuine concern.
People “are coming from a good place when they say those things,” she said. “As it says in Romans, ‘Everything works together for good.’ I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.”
Although Life’s Connection is nonsectarian, it is faith based and closely aligned with Catholic teachings, Crawley said.
In developing Hearts of Hope, Crawley, a parishioner of St. James Parish in Mukwonago, drew inspiration from Elizabeth Ministry International, a Catholic organization supporting families through infertility, pregnancy, parenting and pregnancy loss.
The shared Elizabeth Ministry at St. Thomas Aquinas Parish in Waterford and St. Clare Parish in Wind Lake partners with Life’s Connection.
Crawley also sought guidance from then-Archbishop Jerome E. Listecki, who referred her to the archdiocesan bioethics committee. The committee recommended establishing sacred holding sites where the remains of children lost to miscarriage or stillbirth could be cared for before burial.
Life’s Connection now maintains three such sites and can arrange to collect remains from hospitals and homes. The organization also helps families make burial arrangements at Catholic cemeteries.
The Hearts of Hope Program has expanded beyond the Archdiocese of Milwaukee to the Diocese of Green Bay and locations in California, Colorado and New York.
Crawley hopes eventually to make the program available in every diocese in the country, helping parishes support families facing pregnancy loss.
Life’s Connection provides pregnancy-related services and grief support through its Hearts of Hope Program. Families can contact the organization at lifesconnection1@gmail.com or visit one of its three Waukesha County centers:
- Mukwonago: 801 Wis. Highway 83, 262-470-3119
- Waukesha: 494 W. Main St., 262-290-5433
- Menomonee Falls: N89W16790 Appleton Ave.,
262-288-5766
